13 Books to Hone Your Verbal and Written Communication Skills
It shouldn’t come as a surprise that our success in life hinges on our ability to communicate. We’re verbal creatures. From an early age we learn how to interact with others using language. It’s how we form connections. We take these interpersonal lessons with us and keep gathering data as we age. We learn what other people like and dislike, and how to interact with them based on how they react to what we’re saying. This is how we understand the world around us.
Whether you’re goal is to sell a client, get a roommate to wash dishes, nail a job interview, or win the race for city council, you’ve got to communicate efficiently and effectively. If we’re not in jobs orientated towards people — and sometimes even then — we’re not always taught how to communicate well. If you can’t, you might lose before you ever get started. Media strategist Dr. Frank Luntz says,“It’s not what you say, it’s what people here.” He reminds us that we have to get in the heads of our listeners to achieve our communication goals. And sometimes that means knowing what we shouldn’t say and reading situations, like Peter Drucker noted when he advised, “The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.”
When we communicate, what are people hearing? We aren’t speaking for own sake — we shouldn’t be at least — it’s an exchange between us and others. We’re taking the listeners time, and hopefully giving them back something of value.
Communication is like a product. People only buy what’s useful, efficient, enjoyable, pleasant and [insert other adjective you look for in purchases]. If you aren’t accomplishing these goals for others with how you communicate, why should they stick around to listen? That might require self-reflection. Just because your friends and relatives like how you tell stories doesn’t mean everyone else will.
So how can you start communicating better? It’s simple. You learn, and then you practice. Practice wherever you are. Practice at the car shop. Practice at the grocery store. Absolutely practice at work. And definitely practice when you go to dinner with your in-laws. The world is your communication-oyster waiting for you to practice in it.
Good communication is an art form. It’s fun. I believe that how well we do it will determine how pleasant our lives are. So, whether you’re a communications pro or just want to step up your game, here are 13 books to hone your skills.
1. Pitch Perfect: Say it Right the First Time, Every Time by Bill McGowan
Saying the wrong thing at the wrong time has consequences. We may lose the opportunity for a raise. We may bomb the interview and not get the job. We may do permanent and irreparable damage to a relationship. The words we use and how we choose to say them are imperative.
Bill McGowan sets out to teach you how to say the right thing in every situation, ensuring that you say it right the first try.
2. Perfecting Your Pitch: How to Succeed in Business and in Life by Finding Words That Work by Ronald M. Shapiro
Some conversations happens at a moments notice and we have to be on our toes with good instincts, but with others, we must plan long before they happen.
If you’re asking for a raise, pitching a product, or ending a relationship, your message should be prepared and practiced. Ronald M. Shapiro takes you through the process of drafting and editing your messages so that you can find success and execute.
3. Pitch Anything: An Innovative Method for Presenting, Persuading, and Winning the Deal by Oren Klaff
Pitch Anything is geared toward successful execution in the business world, but Klaff’s methods can teach any of us about how to pitch an idea, and what social structures are taking place during interactions.
Klaff uses social science to explain what’s happening underneath the surface while two people are interacting, and he has the credentials and success to back up his methods.
4. Crucial conversations: Tools for Talking While the Stakes are High by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler
Most of us avoid the crucial conversations in our lives, or at best, we procrastinate as long as we can.
Crucial Conversations, titled appropriately, is a guide to being effective when things are on the line. And this doesn’t only apply to the office, but also tough conversations at home.
5. Works Well with Others: An Outsider’s Guide to Shaking Hands, Shutting Up, Handling Jerks, and Other Crucial Skills in Business That No One Ever Teaches You by Ross McCammon
Unless you studied interpersonal communications in college, it’s probable that you didn’t get a crash course on how to work well with other people. We’ve learned as children how to play nice, but this is taken to a whole other level in the office, where we don’t always get to choose our playmates.
Works Well with Others is a guide to getting along with coworkers from the lens of Ross McCammon, an editor at Esquire and Entrepreneur. This book is your guide to all things office etiquette, and it’s an entertaining read with wit to keep you turning the page.
6. Stop Talking, Start Communicating: Counter-Intuitive Secrets to Success in Business and in Life by Martha Mendoza
It might seem counter-intuitive to be given advice to “stop talking,” but this book gives you this and other uncommon pieces of advice. The cover itself tells readers to “Play dumb, be boring, blow things off, and lose your friends.” These sort of unorthodox tips caught my attention.
One of Robert Greene’s 48 Laws of Power is to “Always say less than necessary,” a communication tip that doesn’t necessarily mean you should walk around being a shell, but acknowledges that in our need to fill silence with noise, we often say things we shouldn’t. Pick up Stop Talking, Start Communicating to take advantage of counter-intuitive strategies.
7. Radical Candor: Be a Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity by Kim Scott
Radical Candor aims to teach leaders how to care personally about their team while challenging directly through candid communication. Though the book is aimed at leaders, anyone in an organization can use its wisdom.
Kim Scott uses real examples from some of the largest companies she’s worked at, including Google and Apple, and various other startups.
8. Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEALS Lead and Win by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin
This isn’t a communications book in the traditional sense. It won’t walk you through strategies on how to verbally improve, but it covers one of the important components of communication — ownership.
Jocko Willink and Leif Babin are two Navy SEALS that led SEAL Team Three’s Task Unit Bruiser during the Battle of Ramadi of the War in Iraq. This was urban warfare and one of the most violent battlefields of the war. SEAL Team Three and Task Unit Bruiser are one of the most decorated teams of the war, and their team included famed sniper Chris Kyle, known from the book and film American Sniper.
Extreme Ownership covers the philosophy these two SEALS used to lead their men in combat. They now share their lessons with businesses across the world. The message is simple: we each must take ownership of every detail of our lives. The failures, the mistakes, and the egregious errors. This is easier said than done — especially on the battlefield when lives are on the line — but these SEALS map out the framework to accomplish the mission.
9. Words that Work: It’s Not What You Say, It’s What People Hear by Dr. Frank Luntz
Dr. Frank Luntz is a media strategist and communication expert. You might have seen him on Real Time with Bill Maher, and his strategies have probably made it to a campaign near you.
This book dives into how words and phrases often determine what we buy, sell, who we vote for, and what we believe in. You might not lean on his side of the aisle when it comes to politics, but you’ll get one of the best crash courses in how language shapes a message. And it’s all from the vantage point of the audience — because what matters is never what you say, it’s what people hear.
10. The Elements of Style by William Strunk Jr. and E.B. White
If writers had a holy book, it would probably be The Elements of Style.
This English writing style guide was written in 1918 and stood the test of time. It’s a compilation of all the rules you will ever need for writing. Lessons like the necessary reminder to “omit needless words.”
The Elements of Style is writing 101. It should be on the bookshelf of anyone who writes anything.
11. On Writing by Stephen King
Stephen King is the master. Too much of his work to count has made its way to popular media. On Writing is his memoir and guide to writing. If you’re a fan of King’s work, this book is for you.
On Writing explores what it means to be a writer and how to succeed, and it’s filled with uplifting anecdotes of the struggles King overcame, along with the fulfillment he finds in his craft.
12. Everybody Writes: Your Go-To Guide for Creating Ridiculously Good Content by Ann Handley
Ann Handley’s Everybody Writes is geared toward content markers and creators in the modern age. She shares simple and effective best practices to improve your content.
Handley adds some wit and humor to make Everybody Writes an enjoyable and practical read.
13. The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles by Steven Pressfield
Have you ever struggled through a creative road block? Ever not been able to find the words to get started? The War of Art is the premiere book to get you through writer’s block.
In this book Pressfield shares the wisdom he uncovered to finally start writing and get work done. And he’s the perfect example, because it took him failures and overcoming homelessness to find success as an author late in life.
Want More Book Recommendations?
These 25 books helped me tremendously during my first job. And these four books helped me as a post-graduate.
If you aren’t a reader, I encourage it. I’ve found it to be one of the most useful tools to navigate life. Someone else had the problems you’re having, and they probably stopped at some point to write down how to get through them.
Do you have reading suggestions to share? Let me know on LinkedIn or Twitter @thediegonetwork.
