On Not Letting Any Success Get To Your Head
I never exactly know how to react when good things happen to me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a person overflowing with good things happening. I’m rather ordinary. But like every person, sometimes good things happen. Maybe I did something good at work or I improved my running or I didn’t lose my temper during a heated conversation.
But I never know how to feel after one of these good things.
Immediately after I feel proud at the win. I think, “OK, I did it. I did a good thing.” But shortly after that the dread sets in. The dread where I realize that I’ve now added to my bank of good thing expectations to live up to. If I did a good thing that one time, the expectation now is that I’ll do a similar good thing in the future.
And that’s not even the worst of it. I can live with that. I aim to do my best, so I’m OK working hard to keep adding to my collection of good things — but the real fear is that I’ll eventually stop caring about my good thing collection. And it’s a fear because I know I’ve done it before.
I remember making the A team in basketball as a 6th grader and being entirely too proud of myself. I remember getting accepted to UT Austin and arriving at the school and partying too much. I’ve had plenty of moments of not taking advantage of good things because I was too proud. I let them get to my head. And it’s happened in less minor areas, too, like doing worse at running because I was too excited about a result and then mailing it in for the month after.
I obviously want to succeed — like any rational person, of course within my own definitions of what success means — but I get scared that having too much of a collection of good things will hurt my chances of more good things. I get scared I’ll get soft. Scared that I’ll start taking days off or I’ll stop trying to work my hardest. Scared that I’ll get too excited about results and I’ll lose my drive to keep improving.
How do people keep at it despite their own good things?
There are plenty of examples of artists or athletes or businessmen that had success and let it get to their head to the point where it affected future achievements. And obviously I’m nowhere near those levels, but any time I get better at something the worry creeps in.
I combat the worry by ignoring it and staying focused on the things that I control, namely my effort. And I aim to keep my mental focus and perspective in the right place. “What matters is not the accomplishments you achieve; what matters is the person you become,” as John Ortberg says.
And I do other things to keep a level head, things that are humbling like running or reading philosophy or studying religion. But it does seem like a tricky balance to want to succeed, but to do it while avoiding the pitfalls that could come with minor glory.
I’m not sure what I’ll accomplish in my life. For all I know I accomplish nothing important and what I’ve done up until today is all that I ever do. But I wonder what it is about certain people that allow them to be accomplished and stay humble and keep working hard. Is it their attitude? Is it their religion? Is it their personality and biology? (Which isn’t in their control, anyways.)
How was John Wooden able to manage success for so long while carrying himself with class and dignity? How does Cameron Hanes run a marathon a day without ever feeling too good about himself and taking the next day off? Do some people just so well ingrain the habit and lifestyle of a work ethic that it never falters for any reason? Are some people just naturally more humble or is it something they work at?
I’m not really sure. But these positive traits are certainly the ideals to aspire to.
