On Running and Building Inner Strength
Running is the worst sport to choose if you want any sort of vain approval from others. Unless you’re part of a running group, you’re usually running alone on a treadmill, on an unremarkable sidewalk, or through a trail or city. And it’s likely you look silly. A human aimlessly running is kind of a silly thing.
Since the solo runner isn’t part of a running group or gym class, they can’t aim for the vanity of impressing the people around them with their performance. And running doesn’t exactly enhance the physique. The best case scenario is that you end up slim, and the worst case scenario is you end up skinny/fat. But neither of these shapes hit the criteria of Instagram-worthy bodies, unless you supplement your running with other exercises.
For not giving you A-list celebrity results — and probably looking silly in the process — running is really hard. It’s torturous. Improving times and distances is grueling, and just doing the thing at the distances you’re capable of is challenging.
So why would anyone endure this and for what reason? I’m not exactly sure. I haven’t found the perfect answer for why I run. I like to think through my reasoning to try to come up with an answer, but it seems to change often.
I do know that I run for:
- the challenge
- so I can binge eat granola and healthy ice cream
- the high (or the post-run feeling, whatever you’d call it)
- so I can stay in shape and not get winded during pick-up basketball.
Despite the reasons, I can’t help but notice the effects running has on my life. I can survive without it, but I feel more calm and collected when I’m running frequently.
Don’t get me wrong, so far the farthest I’ve ran in a day is nine miles, which isn’t much at all. I’m a running evangelist without even being a bona fide runner. But when you’re 3 or 5 miles into a run, you learn really quickly that’s there an infinite number of reasons to not do it.
Reasons like:
- it’s raining outside and I’m at the gym, so I should relax
- it’s too cold in the gym
- sore legs
- I’m not very good anyways
- I’m tired of my playlists
- I could rest and then keep running
- there’s sports to watch
- I’m hungry
- insert all the other reasons that could be included.
Between the litany of excuses and normal pains that pop up, you have to be able to calm your mind and carry on. You have to keep running as if you aren’t having these thoughts or pains. But ignoring the excuses, thoughts, and pains helps you build a calm and resolve that you carry into the rest of your life.
In Stoic philosophy one of the goals is to build this inner resolve. One translated version of Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations is called The Inner Citadel. This is a nod to the idea that we can build an inner stronghold, a fortress. This fortress has the strength to face hardship, pain, adversity, and frustration. It’s likely impossible to live a life that’s only tapped into the citadel, and we can’t use mental toughness to get past everything in life, but we can work to build our resolve and get stronger.
This is what running does. It grows the size of our citadel.
So when I ask myself why I run, maybe this is why. It makes me stronger. It makes me tougher. Maybe that strength and toughness is only relative since what I run is chump change compared to other people. But why should I avoid doing something because I’m not the best at it? If that were the case, I wouldn’t do anything.
I should do things because I like them and I can, especially when they’re good for me. Besides, like the bow-hunter Cameron Hanes says, “Nobody cares, work harder.” No one actually cares how good or bad at anything I am. They’re rather indifferent to all of it. So I should keep doing my thing.
